self portrait


E : What will you do after college?
H : I don't know, but I have a secret plan.
E : What is it?
H : It won't be a secret anymore if I tell you.


If you ask me how I pictured myself at the moment, I would say a blurred living creature. 

 I'm living in the moment, 

I'm doing fine,

 yet I don't know where exactly I'm going.

I don't know what I surely want, 

and I think I'm not the only one who feels this way. 

But hey, 

its okay to not knowing,

its okay to be afraid,

 its okay,

 because my path in life is probably always going to change.

So let me be a blurred living creature for a while.



Oh well so here i am. This blog is almost getting dumped, and am felling guilty. College is intense and I'm freaking overwhelmed. Everything seems like a blur.

Lets speed forward, so i'm joining this Cinematography Club which is the best decision I've ever made I guess. We watch short movies, we analyse it, we learn from the pro, and what i like the most, we try to make one. And it was uber-cool to be a part of something bigger than me.

Below are two videos that had been 'nested' in my pc for quite a long time. Hope you don't get bored and go watch it in HD, please.

P.s: There is this webzine named Sumandak Magazine, and they're currently recruiting people to be a part of their staff. So if anyone of you interested, go ask for further information through SumandakMag's email



new people and inspiring illustrators


i just got back from my university orientation, so here i am. Firstly lets skip about the orientation because i dont wanna talk about it and it already ends so the past is the past. Lets talk about college, i made a lot of new friends in this last week. Making new friend can be quite hard sometimes but i think i’m doing fine.

The fact is, i love meeting new people. But here is the thing, when i meet someone new, some people love doing this small talks and it actually makes me awkward. Like hey, I want to know about you, yourself, the way you see this world, your favorite books, your music taste, or how many siblings do you have, how you become who you are right now, or whats the scariest thing youve ever done, and stuff like that. I do not wanna know what is up or how you doing.

and another stuff, i’m gonna show you some inspiring illustrators that i’ve found lately, so here you go.

a letter to my 28-year-old-self


“I remember going to my 10-year high school reunion; I was never friends with anybody, and that’s kind of why I went, as a sociological study. What was fascinating was that the people who were deemed antisocial and freaks in high school were now incredibly attractive and well-adjusted. There seemed to be some sort of catharsis about growing up and being alone that made you rely on yourself. What that seems to do, I think, is—the nature of creating, film, painting, whatever—you look to create those things that are lacking in your life. I never used to speak, and all of a sudden you find yourself in an environment where you have to speak to hundreds of people during a day. I’m still not great at that, but I’ve gotten better. We’re weird, hopefully self-healing organisms.” —Tim Burton, Film Comment, 1994 
Can we have a thunderous applause for Tim Burton. That's deep, i have to say. And fyi yesterday was my birthday... i'm getting old ughhh. I'm 18 now. And on the last minute of my day, I wrote this letter for myself 10 years from now. Its midnight and I ate a lof of sushi for dinner, so I'm sorry if it was a bit.... questionable? I put a bunch of stickers on it then scanned it. I wish i still can read this letter 10 years from now.

the sunda strait


Hallooo, I have a video to share with youuuu! 
Let me introduce you to The Sunda Strait, the strait between the Indonesian islands of Java and Sumatra. I live in Java and it was around last year I went to Sumatra by ship, so this was filmed from the ship I was in. It was super fun to filmed this video, but sorry if it was a bit boring to you... 



Introducing you my all time favorite font, Madame Klara and a quote by Sudjiwo Tedjo. Its cheesy, i know. Am just feeling bad for havent post anything in such a long time haha
I have like 2 or 3 videos in my computer that havent been posted here so wait for ittt!

a week


So here is what happen on this week!

1. Another drawing!

edited version!!

2. Poems! I love reading poem, but only particular poems. I love this poem titled We Real Cool by Gwendolyn Brooks. Really describes people today haha. And i also read poems by Sapardi Djoko Damono (Indonesian poet) you guys should read the romantic style one hihi
AND i wrote my own poem, called Not Alone hahahaha 



Seeing me in front of the computer all day, my mom told me to play outside so I can see some plants or something green, which is good for my eyes. SO here it is mom!! I see some plants :)

And Happy Indonesia's Presidential Election Day! I'm happy to be able to take part in this democratic movement :)

the mood


i'm honestly not in the mood to write anything in here, but i'll try. 

The photo was taken in a hotel (i forgot the name) near Toba Lake in North Sumatra, and as you can see i put the coordinate of the lake on the pic you can google it or just look for it in a map. Eventho to get there is such a long long wayyy down from Medan, the capital city of North Sumatra. But its still worth it. Medan itself is such a big city with an old vintage vibe, i felt like being in a chinatown when i was there hihihihi

anyway i went there three weeks ago and i took a lot of videos instead of photos, so yeahh... i'll try to make something out of it, it isn't as easy as i though it would be.

the fault is in our stars, not in ourselves.


Sooo...... I went to watch The Fault in Our Stars last night, by myself.... hahahaha. That is such a weird experience. I often went to the movie alone but idk, this time the studio was full of people, like there's no seat left, even the front seat... and everyone was with their own company hahahaha 

Besides, there was this girl on my right who everytime there was a kissing scene or any scene that involve a lot of 'touch' she always whispers "Astaghfirullah..." (its an Arabic phrase means, I ask forgiveness from Allah) and it got me super weird hahahahaha omg.

And the movie well what can i say, it's sad but guess what... i didn't cry (more weird). Maybe because I read the book like 7395129 times so when i watched the movie I know what will happen next, what will s/he say next, and etc, its just quite predictable to me. But overall it was amazingggg!!! In addition, i can see Nat Wolff yipieeee.

This morning i listen to some original soundtracks from TFiOS on 8tracks, my fave is Boom Clap by Charli xcx, it was the song when Gus and Hazel arrived in Amsterdam!

ps : I was about to start reading Paper Town, since the movie will comes out next year, and Nat Wolff as the leading man! (what is air.....)

pss : arent those tfios watercolor drawing of mine super lovely! and the constellations too!

drawing update



As I told you on my last post that I'd really love to learn drawing and stufff, especially using watercolor. I read somewhere that drawing is a continuous-learning, you just can't stop because your skill will improve and improve as you practice more and more, its like if likened to a curve, it only goes up you know. But of course its going down if you stop practicing! 

Yesterday I drew these three figures, well idk but to me they're fine. And today I was thinking about to draw the planets. Well the Mercury and Neptune are done, and the rest will catch up laterrr. Its cute yaaaa hihihi

A little tips from me : Start drawing on a small piece of paper. Because it's easier and quiet not depressing. Because when I drew on a A4 and it starts to look weird, it depresses me like "I've come this far, should I start over again or what!?" Whereas if you draw on a small paper, its not that heart-breaking if it fails and you can easily start all over again :)

xo, bulan



Guess who's back from the stationery store and got a bunch of stuff for herself! That's me. So i know that i can't draw/paint since a long time ago, but I also know that there's nothing in this world that you can't do as long as you want to learn (that sounds quite poetic, errr). So for the sake of joy and a better future for myself, since now on I'll learn to have more artsy-soul in me hahaha.

So here's what I bought :
  • Faber-Castell 12 watercolour paint cakes
  • Artline Calligraphy pen in number 1.0
  • Simbalion poster color
  • Faber-Castell 12 wax crayons
  • Reeves brush in number 2
  • A few stolen color-shades from a paint shop near the stationery store (Its free actually, so basically I didn't steal it)
Wish me luck with this! Keep learning and always fascinated by this world, it feels nice!
xo, Bulan

Bean Magazine #2


Yeppp yeppp new issue of Bean! Have a look. Its full of pics from my last stay at Aston Hotel after prom with my good friendssss.

I think I prefer to share a lot of photos and post them here through this Bean booklet, since its easier and need less space.

Click to enlarge.



Good news everyone, good news! I was accepted at the University of Padjajaran, Bandung, which is my dream university. I was super happy when I knew that. After all of the shitty homeworks, exams, tough teachers, late night studies, very competitive friends, and everything I've been through in high school, it finally payed off. I know that university life is worse and more tiring, yet I just wanna enjoy this phase of my life.

Ps: I have a bunch of pics from my school's prom last sunday, try to figure out how to post it hereeee.

Micro Memories


Its just , you know, some stuff. 

This is frozen yogurts that my friends and I oftenly buy when we went to a mall that near school.

My school's library! The librarians were a lil bit grumpy, but I know that just means they care hihihi

This was taken at the swimming pool where the teacher took our swimming's score

This was taken on a footpath in front of the school. Deffff gonna miss this footpath!

This was a tailor shop in the traditional market near school!

Bulan Horo