Alasan

13 Feb 2015

*this post is written using Bahasa*


aku ingin bersamamu
karena kau merangkai kata untukku

aku ingin bersamamu
karena kau menikmati percekcokan awan hitam dan awan putih ketika hujan akan turun

aku ingin bersamamu
karena kau mendikte ku berdiri tegak agar mahkota ku tak jatuh

aku ingin bersamamu
karena kau menelanjangi keindahan dari para bedebah yang melukaiku

aku ingin bersamamu
karena ketika kau bersamaku kau berharap jarum panjang mengalami hipertensi 
dan kemudian lumpuh

dan jikalau untuk bersamamu butuh alasan

itulah alasanku



Bogor. 2010. Puisi masa smp.
Happy valentine!

P.S: My friends and i have this film festival coming, and I really need your help to watch and thumbs up the trailer for our short movie, it means a lot :)


If someday i become a director, i wanna make a movie about...

2 Feb 2015

Halloooo. Sorry for the long absence, I've been... hmm i don't know what I've been doing tbh. 
As the result, today i'm going to write some stuff that i actually have written long time ago in my journal. Which was my dream movie!! I always wanna make my own movie, like i'm going to be the scriptwriter and also the director. It always sound super cool to me.
 And below I also included a representative photo in every story, so at least you get an idea what i'm talking about. Here we goo!

1. Perpetual Emotions
A 70 year old widow named Emma live in a small town in Scotland called Melrose. Her husband, Tommy, and Emma are free-spirited person. They used to be hipsters, they used to smoke pot every night, have a strong faith in humanity, wander from a country to another in their blue Volkswagen van until 5 years ago when Tommy was diagnose lung cancer, smoking habits as the doctor said. So Emma decided to stay and live in Melrose peacefully. It was until one day Sam and Danny, twenty-ish years old band members from London came to Melrose and stay next door from Emma. 

Sam is an introvert guy who has this low self-esteem and as the impact he loves to drink alcohol as a way to open up to people and there was Danny, a guy who thinks he owns the world just because many girls screaming to his names. Until one day they met Emma who has already experienced the ups and downs of this life, who knows what it feels like to be young and reckless and trying to fit in and thinking that they're the king of this world and having this emotions that they called (at that time) perpetual emotions.

And yesss i imagined Besedka Johnson as Emma (since i saw her on Starlet!), and Jack Kilmer as Sam (since i love Palo Alto), and Alex Turner as Danny (since he's cool) and I think if someday there is a movie like this it's definitely going to be my all time favourite, i mean i always love a movie when there was an old lady living the live and having this bunch of knowledge about life in her head but none listen simply because they (are young and) don't have time to slow down and listen. Such a nice reminder to be a good listener.





2. Balance
This is a film about a 15 years old girl who has this balance problem with her body, she finds it quiet hard to walk. She easily stumble and often fell when she walks. But the cool thing is, she can rollerblading very well. She wins a lot of  roller-blading competitions.

I was kinda forget how this idea came up, but i find this story interesting. What i'm trying to tell you is that sometimes when you live your life day by day, you'll find it hard and may stumble upon. But when you pass through it and look back, you'll realise that time has gone so fast, that life is actually easy and has so much fun if you just keep going.





3. I am a feminist
Augi, an 19 years old Indonesian man who is currently going to college in New York city. He took a Feminism class, which in turn change the way he sees life. Later on, he support an equal status between men&women and believe that a woman should be independent and stand up for what she believes. And the reason he did that because something from his childhood. 

Back when he was in Indonesia, his mother is a highly dependent woman. His mother studied Astronomy when she was in college but she ends up as a housewife, since in Indonesia there aren't so many job opportunities in that field. The problem is his mother has a shopping issue, she's very consumptive, she buys things when she's sad, she buys things when she's happy, she always buys things, with Augi's dad's money. As the result Augi's dad has this 'bad' feeling of belonging toward his wife, he beats Augi's mother when he's mad and he thinks it's okay because she took his money. Augi's mother in the other side also never fight back when she's beaten, because she used his husband's money for her pleasure. Win-win situation. But not for Augi. 




4. Sex?
When i wrote this story, i imagine this as a short movie. Its weird, but i think its very different. This movie is about a mother who has a child but when he's 2 years old he died, hit by a passing car in front of their house. Later on the mother has a paranoia. So when she gave birth to the next child and she found out that her daughter was blind, she becomes overly protective toward her daughter. The conflict began when her daughter is 8 years old and insistently asking questions about sex to her. How do you explain to a blind-8-year-old girl what is sex? how is it look like? can she touch it? how does it feel?



And that's it. 4 stories. There are actually more stories in my journal, but maybe in some other time. See you soon, fellas.

P.S: And also my friends and i have this film festival coming, and I really need your help to watch and thumbs up the trailer for our short movie, and i really appreciate and thank you a lot if you did that :)




self portrait

29 Nov 2014


E : What will you do after college?
H : I don't know, but I have a secret plan.
E : What is it?
H : It won't be a secret anymore if I tell you.

-24.11.2014-



If you ask me how I pictured myself at the moment, I would say a blurred living creature. 


 I'm living in the moment, 

I'm doing fine,

 yet I don't know where exactly I'm going.

I don't know what I surely want, 

and I think I'm not the only one who feels this way. 

But hey, 

its okay to not knowing,

its okay to be afraid,

 its okay,

 because my path in life is probably always going to change.

So let me be a blurred living creature for a while.